T-person, N-person: Which one are you?

There are two kinds of persons in the world.  T-person. N-person.

The T-person is "toxic." While the N-person is "nourishing."

The T-person is characteristically phony, manipulative, and deceptive. Often, he or she is rigidly judgmental and moralistic.

The T-person poisons relationships by using people to meet needs that are his/her own responsibility. He or she often look to others to provide him/her relief, growth, and identity.

The N-person, on the other hand, is emotionally and psychologically attractive. He or she is more self-accepting, open, and authentic.

The N-person is more accepting of other people even when they disagree or make mistakes. He/she avoids being judgmental or critical. He/she is more self-reliant and trusting of others.

Typically, those emotionally wounded are either T-persons psychologically poisoning themselves or N-persons who got poisoned or victimized by others.

I think each of us can be a mixture of T and N. For none of us is perfect. It's simply a matter of degree of predominance.

Bradley was lonely. He's more a "reactor." He avoided the pain of his loneliness by surrounding himself with people and activities initiated by others.

He seemed busy and active. But he continued to have increasing feelings of anger that hurt others. That mystified him.

Through increasing self awareness of our T patterns, we can start learning to avoid or minimize poison in our life experiences.

Those we inflict upon ourselves and others. And those we allow others to inflict upon us.

Then along the way experiment in our search for new thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which are more N or nourishing to our overall well-being.




from Dr. Angelo O. Subida, Psychotherapist http://www.drsubida.com/2018/07/t-person-n-person-which-one-are-you.html